Commitment issues.


I’ve always had a problem with committing myself to someone else, well not that I have never been committed before but I have always been uncomfortable with it, especially after being betrayed by someone I was once devoted to. A commitment issue, or a fear of commitment, is a term often used in reference to romantic relationships, but a person who finds it hard to commit may experience this difficulty in other areas of life. Individuals with commitment issues may experience mental distress and emotional difficulty when faced with situations that require dedication to a particular long-term goal.

Commitment can be defined as a dedication or obligation that binds an individual to a particular person, cause or course of action. My fear of commitment has affected me in so many spheres, such as the fear of committing to a long-term romantic relationship, which I actually desire but still experience discomfort at the thought of such relationship.

I think at some point in life we all experience a fear of commitment or rather some individuals who fear commitment may desire a long-term romantic relationship, but as a result of their own fears, they engage in self-sabotaging behaviour or end the relationship after a point for no real reason, this can lead to mental distress.

Commitment issues experienced within the context of an intimate relationship setting may be the result of attachment insecurity. Many people would agree to a long-term relationship at first and then begin to slowly withdraw from the relationship months, weeks, or even days later. Others may not desire the emotional entanglement that generally occurs in an intimate relationship and may decide to avoid long-term relationships altogether. Instead, they may decide to engage in “friends with benefits” relationships, short-term sexual flings, or one-night stands. However, if a person is open and honest with a partner, in serious relationship it may often be possible to work through commitment issues. This can often lead to a stronger relationship, though the fear of commitment may still remain a recurring issue in the relationship.

Written by Jolene Tshakane